Come, my dear Pacific Ocean!

I'd fallen. I'd bruised. I'd cried. I'd ran. I'd walked. I'd almost given up. I'd feared. I'd been directionless. I'd been in the pits. I'd been ashamed.

But I'd also climbed. I'd rose. I'd healed. I'd laughed. I'd been fueled. I'd hoped. I'd been protected. I'd been led. I'd danced. I'd jumped with joy. I'd sung. I'd learnt. I'd been filled. I'd been poured grace and mercy. I'd trusted. and I'd been assured again and again.

Because of Him, I'd lived. And I'm still living.

Last night, i was suddenly filled with overwhelmed feelings.

I'd let Him down, i know, on that day.. but despite of all of that, He still called me to come even closer to Him, gently nudging my heart. I was thinking that 2009 is going to end. And i felt once i've stepped into 2010, I would be forever drowning all the way till next year. It just really felt like I am about to swim across a Pacific Ocean. I was very scared all of a sudden. I was afraid that I will give up. I was afraid that I will be unfaithful. I was afraid that i will choose not to trust and flee away when the frictions begin. I was afraid that I will not be able to stand the waves. I was afraid to let Him down. I was afraid that i will turn away to ignore His outstretching arms to me and will choose to fall back into that horrible familiar place.

But He'd given me these 3 stones for a purpose. I know He'll equip me and I know He have plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future [Jer 29:11]. Now God, I want to swim across that Pacific Ocean. I know I will drink a lot of that salty water.And fishes, birds and penguins will be my companions. But i know You'll bring me through it. And You know what i need and that You'll provide!

The Lord is the everlasting God,

      the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

     and His understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

    and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

[Isaiah 40:28-31]

I know many of us faced many many different and difficult things right now. Especially those who are in decisions making, or having finances problem or family problems or etc. Look to God. Cling to Him. Look at Him even though everything is just so vicious around you, and ask for His help and He'll surely help you!

I hope and pray that next year will be a year full of God's glory reflecting, shining, in every pieces, every fragments, every particles, every ticks of my time and also your time!

God bless you and me in this coming new year!